nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
