She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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