Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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