Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
