I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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