so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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