Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
