I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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