Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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