I skipped work to stalk him.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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