if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You made out with two different species that night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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