The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
