My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Be still, my beating vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
