her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
