I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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