i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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