I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
