so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
