I'm gonna have a badass scar
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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