He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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