Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
