I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
