Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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