Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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