ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
