So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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