exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
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She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize