I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
