last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize