Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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