I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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