Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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