After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
