I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
