And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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