and you said cock pushups were impossible
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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