The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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