I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
