idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
