at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
