Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
