I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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