i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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