I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
