i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
