do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Randomize
