I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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