Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
