I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
