the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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