On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My ass is underappreciated
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize