Dual....:-)
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
