well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize