Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
