Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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