So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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