Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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